qdd056 | QD Investigates: Why Do Women Use Tinder?

Ever since I discovered sex, I’ve been attempting to have sex. Any accomplishment or achievement in my life was born from my quest to legally trick more people into ignoring their red flags and having sex with me. Most men would agree. It consumes us. The first time a man stumbles into a vagina it becomes, for many, the defining moment of their life. It reshapes our entire outlook on the world. It infiltrates our thoughts and bends our morals. 

So, imagine our excitement when Tinder started gaining traction. Advertised as the place where completely random people are judging you based solely on looks and searching for casual sex. It sounded too good to be true.

I assumed it would just be a bunch of dudes swiping left on each other, but when I opened the app, staring back at me was a woman, I swiped right. Another woman, and then another, and another. So many attractive, smart women…Something’s off.

Why are you slumming it around online with a bunch of desperate savages?

Is it confidence issues? Did your mom call you fat? Maybe daddy issues? DID SOMETHING HAPPEN?! That’s the only explanation for all these women using Tinder. They have to be damaged and it just so happens, damaged people are the moth to my hobo garbage fire.

I decide to jump right in. My first connection and I exchange pleasantries. She says, “hello,” and I reply with a dick pic and invite her to my house, only to be immediately unmatched. Whatever, she looked like a prude anyway. There’s plenty more, just like you, running from their past.

Next up, BINGO! This girl looks like her sister was definitely prettier than her? We connect, I take it slow this time. Several stories about her cat and two hours later she lets me know she wasn’t interested and she’s on Tinder to kill time. 

I go back to my matches and slap myself for not taking the easy route all along: Fat girl. An easy mark, right? She agrees to meet me at the macaroni grill. I spend $100 at the Macaroni grill. After desert, I inquire about coming back to mine for a second desert. She strongly suggests that I lose her number. 

After two more days of being unmatched, I started to think maybe this wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. I started to feel like I was being used. I started to feel like a piece of meat. I’m not your play toy! I have feelings.

What the fuck Tinder?

I could pass a woman on the street and force a connection no matter which way she swipes- but on Tinder, when I’m rebuffed, I can’t follow her a half mile to her train. Everyone knows that last half mile is when you pull out the A-Game. It all just feels so safe.

The very fabric of my being is unraveling and I’m beginning to question everything I’ve been taught. Maybe I’ve been going about this human connection thing all wrong.

Maybe everyone deserves respect regardless of how they dress or what they look like. Maybe women don’t like being yelled at on the street. Maybe most men are fucking scumbags. Maybe Tinder wouldn’t be such a popular thing if men treated women like humans.

Maybe the real world needs to be more like Tinder. 

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 SUMMARY

Maybe everyone deserves respect regardless of how they dress or what they look like. Maybe women don’t like being yelled at on the street. Maybe most men are fucking scumbags. Maybe Tinder wouldn’t be such a popular thing if men treated women like humans. Maybe the real world needs to be more like Tinder.

MORE NONSENSE

Thoughts?

qdd056 | QD Investigates: Why Do Women Use Tinder?

Ever since I discovered sex, I’ve been attempting to have sex. Any accomplishment or achievement in my life was born from my quest to legally trick more people into ignoring their red flags and having sex with me. Most men would agree. It consumes us. The first time a man stumbles into a vagina it becomes, for many, the defining moment of their life. It reshapes our entire outlook on the world. It infiltrates our thoughts and bends our morals. 

So, imagine our excitement when Tinder started gaining traction. Advertised as the place where completely random people are judging you based solely on looks and searching for casual sex. It sounded too good to be true.

I assumed it would just be a bunch of dudes swiping left on each other, but when I opened the app, staring back at me was a woman, I swiped right. Another woman, and then another, and another. So many attractive, smart women…Something’s off.

Why are you slumming it around online with a bunch of desperate savages?

Is it confidence issues? Did your mom call you fat? Maybe daddy issues? DID SOMETHING HAPPEN?! That’s the only explanation for all these women using Tinder. They have to be damaged and it just so happens, damaged people are the moth to my hobo garbage fire.

I decide to jump right in. My first connection and I exchange pleasantries. She says, “hello,” and I reply with a dick pic and invite her to my house, only to be immediately unmatched. Whatever, she looked like a prude anyway. There’s plenty more, just like you, running from their past.

Next up, BINGO! This girl looks like her sister was definitely prettier than her? We connect, I take it slow this time. Several stories about her cat and two hours later she lets me know she wasn’t interested and she’s on Tinder to kill time. 

I go back to my matches and slap myself for not taking the easy route all along: Fat girl. An easy mark, right? She agrees to meet me at the macaroni grill. I spend $100 at the Macaroni grill. After desert, I inquire about coming back to mine for a second desert. She strongly suggests that I lose her number. 

After two more days of being unmatched, I started to think maybe this wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. I started to feel like I was being used. I started to feel like a piece of meat. I’m not your play toy! I have feelings.

What the fuck Tinder?

I could pass a woman on the street and force a connection no matter which way she swipes- but on Tinder, when I’m rebuffed, I can’t follow her a half mile to her train. Everyone knows that last half mile is when you pull out the A-Game. It all just feels so safe.

The very fabric of my being is unraveling and I’m beginning to question everything I’ve been taught. Maybe I’ve been going about this human connection thing all wrong.

Maybe everyone deserves respect regardless of how they dress or what they look like. Maybe women don’t like being yelled at on the street. Maybe most men are fucking scumbags. Maybe Tinder wouldn’t be such a popular thing if men treated women like humans.

Maybe the real world needs to be more like Tinder. 

Spread the love

qdd056 | QD Investigates: Why Do Women Use Tinder?